Resurface

I thought I was doing better...

That I had somehow managed to pull myself together and start moving forward...

At least that's what I thought...

But lately...

It is like someone has come and started picking at the scab.

 It all feels so fresh again.

Maybe this is normal.  Maybe this is how people cope with loss.

I just want to know when I will get over the deep, deep aching and longing for him.

When will I be able to think about him without feeling such incredible sadness and yearning.

Will that ever happen?

Does such a state even exist?




However far I fall I have to remember that my God is there to catch me.

He knows my pain more deeply and intamitely than anyone.

He gives gladness to the mourning and peace for despair.

"Sometimes faith is the absence of fear. Other times faith may be choosing to believe God even when your heart is melting with fear. Perhaps, then, faith is tested by what we do with fear, not whether or not we have it."

I love that quote! So many times we think a life of faith is living without fear or heartache, but really it is about clinging to God in spite of those things. With tear stained eyes and shattered hearts we look to him and cry out...sometimes with sorrow so deep that only He can truly understand and know. It is in those moments that we give birth to faith...when we reach out to Him and cling to his promises with complete and total abandon. Knowing and remembering sorrow endures for the night and that He is there to endure it withs us, even carry us through it. But thank goodness that where there is night morning is not far away. With the sweet arrival of morning comes joy.



So to everyone who is struggling tonight...

      to the broken hearted.....

                to the worn.....

                          to the one in deep despair.....

                                   to the overwhelmed.....

                                            to the scared.....

                                                      to the tired.....

                                                                to the sick....
                                                                           

                                                                         to the broken....

God wants you to know that he is here and that he knows your heart. He wants you to simply, with all of our baggage and junk, run to him. He will give you the strength to let it go. He will give you the strength to get out of bed. He will give you the strength to begin healing. He wants you to know that he does not expect perfection. He just wants you, and for you to know that he will carry you through the darkest of valleys. He wants you to know, that though it takes time, hearts will be mended and spirits will be restored...that joy will come in the morning.